Thoughts

I cried at Costco

Yep, I am proudly telling the story of me crying at Costco Customer Service.

Let me give a little back story. Throughout my childhood, I struggled with understanding my emotions. If I showed them, then they wrong, but if I didn’t I was wrong too.

This of course manifested into anxiety. For most of my life, I tried to hide my emotions because thats always the safe route You know, stuff down inside and rush to bathroom to cry alone person.

For years, I have been on the road of self-healing. I am and will continue to eliminate this part of me, but sometimes she still overpowers me and it sucks.

Leading up to my Costco moment, I had been sick from January to early February. I had bronchitis, the stomach bug and a head cold. I was mentally, physically and emotionally worn out.

I could tell my anxiety was slowing rising. I was having trouble hushing the negative thoughts and my will power was slipping.

It’s like I was one a room with a person who is telling you everything bad about yourself—like a mantra she keeps chanting. At first, she takes breaks and the mantra isn’t constant. Then I make the mistake of shutting the door to the room, and the mantra turns into a constant chant that I can’t escape.

Okay back to the story. Our TV messed up that we had bought from Costco. It was under warranty so my husband calls customer service to get it fixed. They tell him that they don’t think it was fixable, so to bring it to Costco for an exchange. Seemed simple enough, so I volunteer to take it.

I get to Costco (btw it’s an hour drive for me), I freeze while loading the TV on a flat cart. I make my way to customer service, tell the customer service guy the issue/what we were told, and he looks at me like I am liar and states “technical support never does this, are you sure?” and “where is the stand? We can’t take it without the stand.”

Well no, because I didn’t talk to customer service, my husband did and he also loaded the equipment in the car, so I guess no stand. I can feel my anxiety beast rising inside me.

He calls his manager and I call my husband. After what felt like forever, I am told that they will take the TV, give us a refund, but if we don’t bring the stand back we will loose our Costco membership and not let back.

I wish normal me had control because I would had said thats stupid to kick me out of Costco for this. Isn’t a better option to deduct from our refund the missing stand? Also you’re willing to lose a customer who spends way too much money at your store over this?

Guess what ladies and gentlemen, nope I lost it. I started crying, asked for my card back and said I would keep the TV because I wasn’t been banned from Costco. I have to say, I smile now thinking of those two men with “oh shit” looks on their faces when I started crying.

They then informed that I will not lose my membership only have a note on my account…I am still unsure of that means. I had no control over my mind at this moment, my logic wasn’t working.

I felt ashamed of how I cried, how I lost control of my emotions, of how I didn’t respond the smart, correct way I wish I had.

That was two days ago, and I am not ashamed anymore. It happened. I don’t want pity. I needed that weak moment, in a public establishment among strangers to make me realize huge things.

1:

2: It’s okay to show feelings. I am in control of ME. These are my feelings, no one else gets to tell me I am wrong unless I invite them too. I had allowed everyone to tell me about ME, it stops now.

#3: I don’t need outside influences to approve of me.

#4:

I am imperfect and my mistakes are only lessons, not something that defines me.

Next time, you are suffering anxiety or lose it public, remember you aren’t alone and it does NOT define you!

1 thought on “I cried at Costco”

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